We've All Had Our Scares, Right?
by portionss-forfoxes
Summary: We all know Juliet O'Hara is a straightforward businesswoman. What we don't know is the details of her wild college days! What happens when a few of her college gal pals show up at the SBPD and Jules is boyfriend-less? Hm...you can only guess. Shules.
1. The Arrival

**Hey y'all, it's me! Just tryin' my hand at a little Shules. I found Juliet a little dry, so I'm trying to add some spice to her character--sorry if she's not totally as she would be in the show. I'm not that into it right now, so forgive me if it doesn't get finished cuz I started this a while ago--I might just make it a oneshot. But anyway, here you go! Read and please please please review!**

Juliet O'Hara leaned back in her desk chair, smoothed her hair and heaved a sigh. It was 8 o' clock on a Friday night and people were starting to file out of the police department and begin their weekends. There was an excited energy among the officers, that thrilling buzz everyone got when they'd just wrapped up a big case.

The case, of course, had been mostly solved by the SBPD's goofball psychic detective, Shawn Spencer (with help, of course, from his not-so-divinely-gifted best friend, Burton Guster). It had not been one of Jules's favorite cases, of course, seeing as 1) she got the privilege of doing the paperwork, 2) it involved a lot of screaming children and 3) an orphaned baby who she'd had to care for.

She'd started out a bit wary of the child, frightened by its screaming, sometimes. But Shawn had been a big help--a natural-born kid-charmer--and the two had made quite the adoptive parents. It was just like the time they'd pretended to be parents to squeeze information out of those horrible Red Balloon Nanny Agency people. God, that had been fun. In this case, they'd gone undercover again, posing little Braden as their own to get info from a tight-knit group of suburban country club parents. Turns out, when the head of the group found out Braden's father had left his mother, she didn't want their group getting a bad reputation so she murdered poor Brady's mommy. They'd solved the case with help, of course, from their nanny (no, sorry, _manny_), Burton Guster.

The only awkward moment during the case had occurred when she, Shawn, Gus, Carlton and the Chief had all been in Karen's office. Chief had wanted to warn them that half of the wives in the Country-Clubbers group were pregnant.

"...and believe me," she'd said, "you do _not _want to push a pregnant woman's buttons."

"Amen to that!" Jules had said jokingly, recalling her wild college days....Then she noticed the other four staring at her like she'd just announced she had two vaginas. Jules stuttered like a deer caught in headlights, turning to Chief Vick. "I mean, we've all had our scares, right?" she said, laughing nervously. Lassie, who was more protective of her than her father and brother combined, looked like a pug who'd just seen a squirrel and whose eyes were about to pop out of his head.

Jules chuckled in her seat, remembering the uncomfortable exchange.

"Something funny?" Shawn whispered, right over her shoulder. Jules jumped, startled. She put a hand over her chest, feeling her heart pounding.

"Don't _do _that!" she scolded, but she was smiling widely.

Shawn grinned that goofy little grin of his, scooting some of her stuff over so he could sit on her desk. Always restless, he kicked his legs against her file cabinets. Idly she wondered what hell his teachers must've had to go through in grade school...

"Seriously, whatcha thinkin' about?" he questioned. "Lemme guess...me in a Speedo sailing through clouds in the sky?"

Normally Jules would've just rolled her eyes and sighed, but she was feeling particularly flirty today, so she said,

"Oh, yes. Except you forgot the part where you're carrying me in a bikini in your arms."

Shawn's eyes widened with glee, and he laughed. She did, too.

"Where's Gus?" Jules asked.

"At his parent's house," Shawn answered hastily, then added quickly, "No, but seriously, what _is _on your mind?" His face was intent, not kidding around.

Jules wrinkled her nose and frowned a little. "College," she finally said.

"Ohoho!" Shawn exclaimed teasingly. "'We all have our scares,' huh?"

"Shut up," Jules said, turning red and poking him in the stomach. _Hm. Surprisingly non-mushy_. "It's just..." Jules paused. "...my sorority sisters are coming tonight."

Shawn's mouth and eyes opened wide. "Get out!" he yelled, Elaine Benes-style.

"No joke," she said, rocking in her chair.

"So...," Shawn prodded, "are you happy about this?" The expression on his face reminded her of a gossipy housewife at a hair salon.

Jules made a thinking noise. Truth was, she wasn't really sure. "I don't know," she told him. "I mean, they're...fun," she offered.

"I can imagine."

"But very wild. Like, wild enough for me to wake up in Emilio Esteves' bed tomorrow morning without remembering even going to a club."

"Say _what_?"

Jules ignored the avid '80s-fan. "I mean, they're a bit..."

"Hygogious?"

"No."

"Persnickety?"

"Uh-uh."

"Fartlekish?"

"Definitely not. They're..._energetic_."

Shawn nodded knowingly. "Ah..._energetic. _Gotcha."

Lassiter approached the table. Shawn opened his mouth obviously to greet him in some cruelly clever way which Jules would have to stifle a laugh at, but Lassie just stuffed a cough drop in his mouth (he'd had a surplus of those lately seeing as he had a nasty head cold). Shawn looked torn for a second, considering removing the cough drop to proceed with his comment, then shrugged and started sucking loudly.

"Do you have that paperwork done?" Carlton asked her.

"Not yet. Almost."

"You would if Tweedle-Dumbass here hadn't started chatting you up."

Feeling ticked off with her partner for sticking her with all the work, she decided to defend Shawn for once. Or at least, insult Lassiter. "You know," she said, scratching her chin as though thoughtful, "you really do remind me of Red from _That '70s Show_. You like to use the word dumbass....You, yourself, are an unfeeling hard-ass....And you're both balding!"

Lassiter turned red, looking shocked. He opened his mouth to say something, frantically rubbing his head, but right on time--

"Oh. My. God. Ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod!" Bracing herself, Juliet smoothed her hair, slapped a fake smile on her face, threw her hands in the air and turned around. **(A/N: For any of you 30 Rock fans out there, I want you to think Liz when she had to greet her old friend fun Claire played by Jennifer Aniston).**

"Aaaaaahhhhh!" she screamed excitedly in a high pitch voice. Just coming up the department steps were four revealingly-dressed girls....


	2. The Departure

**Ah! Sorry it's taken me so long to update. Like I said, not that into it right now, so I'm probably just gonna wrap it up right here and now or else it'll be sitting around unfinished for forever. Sorry! Love those reviews!**

**REVIEW FROM LAST CHAPTER: **_"Aaaaaahhhhh!" Jules screamed excitedly in a high pitch voice. Just coming up the department steps were four revealingly-dressed girls._

One platinum blonde, two dirty blondes (and that adjective was applicable in more than one way), and a brunette, albeit with blonde streaks.

In a flurry of pink and clinking heels, Jules embraced them in a great big group hug. Despite all their flaws (sluttiness, superficiality, gossiping, shallowness, lack of ambition, and the occasional bout of back-stabbing), she loved these girls.

When the hugging was finally over, Jules looked them all over. Janie, Lila, Mabel and Sal. How long had it been?

"Wow," said Mabel (dirty blonde #2), the smartest of the four (which wasn't saying much). "This is, like, an actual police place. Like, with cops and handcuffs and everything! My boyfriend's in training to be a fireman, but that place isn't _nearly _this big!"

Jules internally rolled her eyes. Of _course _she had to slip in something about a boyfriend.

"Yeah, _my _boyfriend's only the President of some company," Janie (platinum blonde) commented. It was obvious the word _only _was thrown in there for the sole reason of politeness. Well, at least, _Janie's _definition of polite.

"Mine's just a lawyer," Lila added, then smirked. She wasn't so good at pretending to be nice. The word '_just_' was painted in mocking letters on her forehead.

"Mine's a mere doctor," Sal said. _Only _and _just _Jules could take. But _mere_? Who the _hell _had said fucking _mere _since Elizabeth Bennett married Mr. Fucking Darcy?

Jules was mentally fuming as they all turned expectantly to look at her. Two minutes in and they had already backed into the corner of the subject of BOYFRIENDS. And an awful, reeking, motherfucking, place-where-Rod-Blagojevich-goes-to-die corner it was.

That's when her brain went _BLOOP _and whatever part of her it was that took over when she had no idea what she was doing stepped in. She did it unexpectedly, and when she was finished, it was almost like she was watching someone else and saying to that person, _What the hell, Jules?_

"Um, well," Jules blurted out hastily, yanking Shawn off her desk by his arm. Papers sputtered everywhere, and Shawn's eyes were wide and confused. "This is _my _boyfriend, Psychic Detective Shawn Spencer."

* * *

The first thing that happened was that Detective Lassiter burst into laughter. Tears actually sprang from his eyes as he clutched his stomach in gleeful pain, pointing to the two of them and wheezing. Shawn was frozen with his eyebrows so far up on his forehead that if he were a cartoon, they'd be leaping off his head.

Jules made wide eyes at the both of them (mostly Lassiter), while Janie, Lila, Mabel and Sal just looked back and forth at the odd triangle.

"Psychic?" Mabel asked, finally, looking at Shawn. For once, he was lost for words. He just stuttered and nodded his head slightly. "Uh-uh-huh," he squeaked.

"How exciting," Lila commented, wide-eyed and curious (she was not the smartest purse in the Prada section). "Do you read people's wavelengths? Can you tell if they're gay? Because Sal hasn't been able to tell why her boyfriend won't-"

"_Lila_," Sal hissed, scowling at the blonde.

"_Seriously_?" Janie skepticized (_Is that a word? _Jules wondered). "You honestly expect me to believe you're psychic? Prove it."

By now Shawn had regained his regular light and slightly perverted composure. He looked Janie up and down, then started, "You're twenty-nine years old and obviously fretting over your upcoming thirtieth birthday because you tell people you're twenty-six-no, sorry, twenty-five. You peaked in high school when you dated the quarterback, but you managed to ride out that wave until college was over, at which point you scrambled to find a rich boyfriend to sustain you since you have absolutely no worldly skills."

Janie was unfazed. Come to think of it, she had always been the biggest bitch Jules had ever met. She was a regular Blair Waldorf. At this point Jules considered committing suicide because she realized she was almost thirty and she'd just compared someone to a character from Gossip Girl.

"Really? That's the best you can do?" Janie stepped closer to Shawn, invading his personal space like they do in every single dance movie ever invented. Jules almost expected the words _You ain't seen my moooves _to come out of her mouth. At this point Jules considered committing suicide because she realized she'd seen all five _Bring It On_ movies. "I bet you're not even Jules' girlfriend. Wha'd you do, Jules, scrape this one out of the bottom of the pit? Psychic detective, my ass."

Oh! Oh, _what_? What the _what_?

At this point Jules considered committing suicide because she was now quoting Liz Lemon.

Jules had to refocus her attention from reassigning Janie as smartest bitch instead of Mabel. Plus, it was kind of hard not to focus on her when she was two inches away from Shawn's face.

"If you were really her boyfriend," she said, "you wouldn't let me kiss you right now."

Well, now she was screwed. Shawn and his hyperactive penis would not pass up the chance to make out with a hot chick. Jules would know. Well, actually, no she wouldn't, because she'd never made out with him, but she'd had a freaky ass dream once-

-back to present time!

Back to present time _because..._she suddenly felt an arm around her waist and hands wrapping around her back and she was being dipped in the most romantic way like they do in Audrey Hepburn movies. That had never happened to her when someone else was around (at this point Jules considered committing suicide after realizing she sometimes danced around her house alone and dipped herself). And she felt lips pressing against hers and lips moving against hers and her first thought was _OMG is Janie kissing me? I mean, I experienced in college but this is _way _inappropriate! _and her second thought was _Damn, Janie really needs to shave once in a while! _before she realized that Shawn was kissing her (at this point Jules considered committing suicide because, come on, she was a dumbass).

"Don't cross my girlfriend," Shawn said, and then he swept her off her feet-literally-and carried her out of the department. Which was actually kind of a problem because she'd made plans with those girls. When she told Shawn that he just said,

"Damn, Jules, ya gotta ruin a romantic moment? This type of thing only happens in Humphrey Bogart films!"

Jules considered that for a moment. "I suppose I could...reschedule. Oh, and am I your girlfriend now?"

Shawn didn't answer. And from the end of pretty much every romantic comedy ever, you can probably imagine why.

**THE END**

**A/N: Sorry this ending sucked so bad. I was in a hurry to get this fic over with because I lost interest. However, hopefully it was funny enough. Don't flame me because I already know it's horrible! XOXO! (At this point I'm considering committing suicide because I realized I've been watching waaay too much Gossip Girl).  
**


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